Forsaken
by kikudog6
Summary: Jade should have listened to Beck. She didn't. Now she has to pay the consequences, and it could cost her her life. BADE
1. The Party

**This is my first Victorious fan fiction, like so many others have, I made it so Jade was raped, but I added a little bit of twist to spice it up :) I don't know if anyone else has done this but I just randomly got the idea. So I hope you like it. **

_Jade POV_

"Jade you made it!" Hunter beamed as I arrived at the party. "Where's Beck?" He scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion.

"That's none of your damn business." I snapped, and he put his hands up showing he meant no harm.

"The party's outside," he let me in. But I saw that there were like a hundred people in his living room alone.

"Whatever." I muttered, and walked by him. I knew I shouldn't be here, but I really didn't care. Beck and I got in yet _another_ fight, but I'm not even sure what it was about. All I kno is that I was really pissed, and I bet it had something to do with that slut Vega. That's what they're usually about anyways. But anyway one thing lead to another and I ended up coming here.

I tried to convince Beck to come, but he kept on going on about how Hunter's parties are always bad news. I didn't even get how he could say that considering he's never been to one. But next thing I know I stormed out of his R.V. Not really sure what to do.

I was originally gonna go to the movies, which is where he thought I was, but just to piss him off I ended up coming here.

"Hey how's it going babe." Some idiot blocked my way.

I ignored him and tried to stalk pass him, but he grabbed my shoulder.

"Get off asshole." I slapped his hand away, and continued going outside.

After maybe an hour or so I realized that someone had brought drugs. I didn't know what it was, but I sure as hell wasn't sticking around to find out. I wasn't in the mood to being brought down to the police station.

"Shit!" I swore colorfully, when I found my car missing-actually it's my mom's car. Damn she's gonna kill me.

I couldn't call Cat or Andre since they were working on some project, and I sure as hell wasn't calling Beck or Vega, I decided to just walk home. Besides the fact that the car was stolen I actually didn't mind that much. It was dark, and a slight breezed caressed my body.

I reached the corner of Gibson St. and contemplated on whether I should continue down this street. It was known as one of the bad neighborhoods, and Beck didn't like us going down there, not even in a car. But Beck wasn't here was he.

Before I even crossing the street though, someone's hand gripped my arm.

"Hey I didn't get to say good bye before you left." A guy's voice said from behind me.

"Get the fuck off me." I turned around and tried to get away.

When my eyes met his I saw it was that idiot from the party. He had dark brown scruffy hair, that partially covered his eyes, that also seemed to be brown , but I couldn't really tell. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt despite the slight chill, and dark blue jeans, But the thing that struck me the most was his size. It wasn't that he looked particularly strong, but he was as tall as anything.

"Hey hey hey, I'm only trying to be polite here." he smiled, and for some reason it sent shivers down my spine, "Now a pretty little girl like you shouldn't be going through these streets alone."

"Yeah and an ugly little boy like you shouldn't be allowed in public, but you're still here." I spat.

His eyes flashed dangerously, before he said, "Now that wasn't nice."

"Like I give a shit."I tried to pull away, but he was stronger than he looked.

"Oh no you're not going anywhere." his smile grew.

Okay I was really getting scared now. I kicked him where it count, and he doubled over in pain, releasing me in the process.

I sprinted down the street, but his long legs easily caught up to me.

"Bitch." he grumbled, and covered my mouth, while dragging me into a nearby abandoned warehouse.

I kicked and thrashed in his grip, but it was no use.

Once we were in, he threw me against the stone wall, my head connecting painfully to it.

I tried to make a run for it, but he was waiting for me. He pinned me to the ground, and forcefully stuck his tongue into my mouth.

I tried to push him off, but he was just too strong.

He groped my body, not missing the opportunity to touch every square inch of it.

"Stop..." I whispered, tears threatening to fall. But I'm Jade West. I don't cry... or so I thought.

Soon his kissing and groping turned into more, he-he stole my virginity. I know most people in school thought Beck and I did it like bunnies, but although we had some pretty hot make-out sessions, we never had sex.

All I could do was lay there as this creep raped me. I couldn't do anything, and despite my protests, I started crying.

"Please stop..." I choked.

"As you wish." he smirked, throwing his clothes back on.

I tried to crawl to my pile of clothes, but he grabbed me by the hair, making me stand up.

"This is for kicking me in the nuts."

He punched me in the face, causing me to cry out in pain. I collapsed on the cold floor, avoiding his icy gaze.

"Oh yeah, and by the way I have AIDS." he smirked, and left me whimpering, alone...terrified and broken.

**So whadya think, good? Bad? My inspiration for this story is from Ryan White, who was a kid with AIDS in the 80s. His book his called Ryan White:My Own Story, and it's AMAZING but really sad. If you haven't read it you really should :D There's also a movie, it's on youtube and called The Ryan White Story. **

**So if you're interested there you go. And don't forget to review PWEASE!**


	2. The First Hospital Visit

**Thanks for the reviews! I've already written a few chapters ahead, so I'll make sure to update quickly. And considering I'm still high school that means I'm not a doctor, so sorry for any medical stuff I get wrong. **

_Jade POV_

It was so cold. I wanted to go home. My entire body ached, and I felt so-so... dirty.

I managed to drag myself to where my clothes lay, and gingerly put them on. My shirt lay painfully on my cuts and bruises, and I winced as I slid them on.

I tried to get help, but it hurt too much, so I just lied there, shivering.

Why didn't I listen to Beck? Beck. I needed him, I didn't want to be alone right now... I couldn't.

I wanted to lay in his warm arms, instead of this cold floor. I wanted him to whisper words of comfort to me, instead of my inner voice telling me I deserved this.

But I guess I did, I didn't listen to Beck, and now I had to pay. Damn it I hate this! I tried to move again, but pain radiated all over my body, and I groaned.

Who was that creep anyway. I swear I was gonna kill him one day. I remember he said something before he left, but I didn't catch it. My head to seemed to have a acquired a heartbeat and was pounding painfully in ,y head. Blocking out everything around me.

I don't know how long I stayed there, but Beck was going to find me right. He had to...

More time passed, and I started feeling even worse; my body was on fire, and it felt like there was a metal clamp squeezing my head. I needed to get out of here.

"Help." I croaked. I hated asking for help, it made me feel so weak and vulnerable, but there was no choice now, I need it. "Please someone-" But my voice wasn't working.

I never felt so scared, was I gonna die here? I never even got to say bye to Beck. I never told him just how much he met to me; how much I loved him.

"Hel-" I began, but black spots clouded my vision, and I finally fell into the dark void of unconsciousness.

_Cat POV_

"...and then I fell into a pool of peanut butter." I smiled.

"Wow Cat, that is seriously on weird dream." Andre said.

"Hahah yeah, it tasted really good." I laughed.

"Alright we need to get started on this project, I was thinking-" but he was cut off by some music that was playing.

"Ooo I love this song!" I started dancing, "Come on Andre join me."

"Cat that's your phone." he tried to hid a smile.

"Heheh oh." I skip[ed to my phone, and looked at the caller I.D to see it's Jade, "Hi Jade, I was just telling Andre about my dream with a pool of peanut butter, it was really funny."

"Um is this Catrina Valentine?" A guy's voice says on the other end.

"Um yes, who is this, and why do you have Jade's phone?" I said a little worried, and Andre turned his attention to me.

"Hello this is Officer Rye, we found a young girl by the name of Jadelyn West near Gibson street-"

"Gibson Street, is she alright!" I panicked.

"She was found unconscious and is currently at the St. Jude's Children Hospital-"

"Oh my gosh, can I go see her?" tears were already running down my face.

"Yes of course, just give your name when you arrive to the front desk." he said gently.

"Thank you." I whispered, and hung up.

"Cat's what's wrong." Andre looked at me worriedly.

"It's J-Jade somethings wrong, we need to get to the hospital!" I cried.

His eyes widened, and he said, "O-okay, should I call Beck and Tori?" He reached for his phone.

"Um we shouldn't tell Beck, just in case it isn't too serious, we don't want to worry him." I thought.

"Alright I'll call Tori." he dialed her number. I didn't really pay attention to what he said, and just searched for my keys.

"Where the fudge monkey are my keys?"

"Uh Cat, they're in your hand." Andre, pointed to my clenched fists.

I laughed nervously, "Oh, let's go then." I rushed to my car.

I sped down the highway, arriving at the hospital in no time, and I ran into building.

"I'm Cat." I said out of breath, to the receptionist.

"Excuse me?" she blinked at me.

"Uh this is Catrina Valentine, and I'm Andre Harris." Andre said from behind me.

"Ah yes, please wait right over there, and a doctor will come and explain your friend's condition."

"Can't we see her?" I squeaked.

"I'm afraid not, but you will be able to soon."

"'Kay kay." I felt a little better knowing that she was still alive.

"Sorry I'm late, Trina got her foot stuck in a- never mind." Tori rushed into the hospital "How is she?"

"We don't know yet, the doctors haven't told us anything."

"Where's Beck?" she asked.

I might of just imagined it, but it looked like Andre's jaw clenched, "He's not here."

Tori looked confused but didn't ask anymore questions.

"Catrina Valentine?" A man walked out with a clipboard.

"That's me, but I go by Cat." My friends and I went over to him.

"Um alright...Cat, can you guys please follow me here." he took us through another hallway, and into a small room.

"I'm sorry to say, but it seems as though your friend, Jadelyn was raped earlier today."

Tori gasped and I said, "Wh-what, is she okay?" I whispered.

"She has some bruising, her left zygomatic bone is fractured, which is the bone right below the eye, and a minor concussion."

"C-can we see her?" I said, sort of I a daze. How could this happen to her, I mean I know she could be grumpy, but she didn't deserve this.

" One minute, right now she is being tested for pregnancy and STD's, but the results can take anywhere from 3 days to 2 months, depending on the disease." The doctor said carefully.

"B-but Jade can't get a disease." I stuttered. It just didn't make sense, how could this be happening.

"I'm sorry but it is just precaution." he smiled weakly.

"Okay, can we go see her now?" I asked.

"Of course, follow me." he lead us to some room, where there were 3 beds.

The first one had a tiny bald girl who looked about 16 years old despite her size. The second was empty, and the 3rd held Jade.

"Oh my gosh Jade are you alright?" I ran to her bed.

She looked up at me, her eyes distant, as if she were reliving something, "Yeah I'm fine, just a little tired." she mumbled.

I'd never heard her sound so weak, and hurt, it brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry Jade." I whispered.

She gave me a ghost of her old smirk and said "How the hell is this your fault?"

Before I could say anything the doctor walked back in, "I'm sorry but we have to start the STD testing now."

"But we've only been here for like 2 seconds." I protested.

" I know but it's necessary we do this now." He pointed out.

I looked at my best friend reluctantly, "Cat, I'll be fine, I'm Jade West, remember?" she smiled slightly. I didn't fall for it.

I nodded, and Andre, Tori, and I walked out.

"Cat we need to call Beck." Andre told me.

"I know." I whispered.

**Well that's the end of chapter 2, I didn't think this one was that good, but whatever. Hope you guys liked it :) I'll be sure to update tomorrow. **


	3. Promises

**So I just wanted to clear it up that the first call Beck gets from Jade, is actually the officer using Jade's phone, and Beck was the 1st emergency number, and Cat was 2nd. **

**And I made this chapter extra long for you guys :D**

_Beck POV_

I looked down at my ringing phone, and saw it was from Jade.

Ugh I'm really not in the mood to fight with her. Why does she feel it's vital that argue every single freaking day.

Jeez she drives me crazy sometimes. I don't get why she had to be so possessive. I mean all I did was agree to go over to Tori's house to work on homework next week. But Jade acted like I had asked Tori to marry me or something.

Whatever, it's not like we don't end up forgiving each other in the end. Well I forgive her, she just chooses not kill me...yet. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 1:00 so I decided to go to sleep.

But in what felt like less than an hour my phone rang; it was Andre.

"Dude it's like 2 o'clock what do want." I said drowsily into the phone.

"Look Beck, um I don't know how to say this..." he trailed off.

"It's easy, just use your tongue, and vocal cords, and before you know your making words, and then those become sentences, and-" I joked.

"Beck this is serious, it's Jade." My heart stopped.

"What? What's wrong wrong with her, where is she, how-" I fired questions at him, ut he cut me off.

"Listen, she's at St. Jude's Children Hospital, because she was...um raped." he said so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.

"Sh-she what?" I said in a low voice.

"She was raped..." he said some more things, but I didn't hear. My head was buzzing. Jade, _my _Jade was-was raped. I didn't protect her, I wasn't there for her. This was all my fault.

"Beck, Beck, are you there?" I vaguely heard Andre say through the phone.

"I'll be right over." I hung up, and raced to the hospital. When I got there Andre, Cat and Tori were asleep in the waiting room, along with some other family members.

"Where can I fine Jadelyn West?" I asked the receptionist.

"Um, sorry visiting hours are closed, we cannot let you in without approval from a doctor." she said apologetically.

"B-but I need to see her!" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry." she shrugged her shoulders sadly.

I ran my hand through my hair and asked, "Fine, when do visiting hour start?"

"6 a.m, which is in," she looked at her computer screen, "a little less than 4 hours."

4 hours. 4 hours till I get to see the love my life. All of a sudden that seemed like an eternity, and I walked back woodenly to where my friends were.

I tried to fall asleep, but it wouldn't come to me. I just sat there staring at the linoleum floor, memorizing the pattern.

A couple hours later Andre grunted in his sleep. And a few minutes minutes his eyes slowly cracked open, "Oh hey man,"

"Hey." I muttered.

He rubbed his eyes, and looked around as if he just remembered where he was, "So did you see her yet?"

"No they wouldn't let me." I said bluntly.

"Oh really wh- Oh yeah the visitation hours. How much more time 'til they open?"

I checked my phone "bout half an hour."

"Well that isn't too bad." He said stretching his arms.

"Easy for you to say, considering you already saw her." I muttered, but luckily he didn't hear me. "So what did they say is wrong with her?" I asked, sort of scared of the answer.

"Oh, uh they said she had a couple bruises, a broken zygomatic bone, which I think is just fancy talk for cheekbone, and a minor concussion."

I clenched my fists in anger, "And you're sure they don't know who did it?" I said through tight lips.

"No, no one was there when they found her." He shook his head.

I sighed in frustration "It's probably better that way, because I'm pretty sure I'd kill who ever did it."

But before he can respond, Cat wakes up.

"Morning." she smiles slightly, despite the circumstances, she was still able to keep up her peppy attitude and launched into yet another story about her brother. Man I really wanna meet her brother one day, because by these stories he must be one interesting fellow.

And before I knew it the receptionist announced that visiting hours were open.

I practically sprinted to the counter, and gave Jade's name again.

"Jadelyn West you siad?" she scrolled through her database, "Ah yes she's in room 77B. That's just down the hall and make the first ad second right you see, plus there are signs around the hospital if you get lost."

"Thank you." I walked quickly to the room, not even bothering to see if Cat or Andre was following.

As I entered the room, I saw a doctor at the far end of the room, where Jade must have been.

"Ah, I take it your Beckette Oliver?" He looked at his clipboard.

"Uh yeah, how is she?" I went to her bed, and my heart squeezed.

She looked so fragile under the sterile white hospital sheets. She had a black eye, and other bruises seemed to snake up her body.

"Right now she is stable, she just came out of surgery to fix her left zygomatic bone. But otherwise, her injuries don't seem to be too serious." He smiled, and I ket out a sigh of relief.

"Is she pregnant?"

"No, it seems she was lucky, but we are still conducting STD tests, and depending on the disease the results could take a while to return."

"Good," I smiled, "Um when is she going to wake up?"

"It shouldn't be too long, would you like to be left alone with her?"

"Yeah, thanks." I smiled gratefully as he pulled the curtains that separated the beds.

I gingerly took her hand, as if my touch alone would shatter her.

"I'm so sorry Jade, I should have been there." I whispered, "I promise to protect you forever and always from now on."

I don't know how long I just stood there, but eventually her eyes fluttered opened.

_Jade POV_

It felt like I had been asleep for hours, and as I woke up I felt a someone grabbing my hand.

Oh my God, it's the creep! I pulled my hand away from whoever was holding me. "Get away from me" I cried, and was met with intense pain in my cheek.

I looked up at my predator, and those cold brown eyes gazed back at me.

"You deserved it babe, it's all your fault." He said.

"No, I-I didn't mean for it to happen, I'm sorry." I said desperately, ignoring the pain.

He reached down and grabbed my shoulder.

"No stop please, I didn't-" I thrashed, and hit him in the face.

"Ow Jade, it's me, calm down." A familiar voice said, it sounded like... Beck.

"Beck?" I whispered.

"Yeah it's me, don't worry, everything's okay now." He soothed.

"I'm sorry Beck, I should have listened..." I looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes.

_Don't cry Jade, don't cry. Crying is for pansies and weaklings, don't cry. _

"How can you say this your fault?" He exclaimed.

"Did they tell you where they found me." I whispered.

"No..."his eyes narrowed, and I tried to tell him, but the words wouldn't go past my tongue. "Jade," he said, his voice stern, "Where were you?"

"G-Gibson Street." I stuttered.

"Gibson Street, why were there?" I flinched at his voice, and his eyes softened.

"I...I went to Hunter's party, but left when I saw there were drugs...and then this-this weirdo followed me, since my car was stolen, and..." I couldn't finish. I was now dangerously close to tears, but I refused to let them fall.

Beck combed his hand though his hair, and sighed, "I'm sorry." I said barely above a whisper.

"Don't be, if we hadn't fought, you wouldn't have gone in the first place."

I didn't say anything, and we just sat in silence for a little.

"How you feeling?" he reached for my hand, and I instinctively shied a way.

"I'm fine." I muttered. I wasn't supposed to show weakness, and showing pain is weak,

I could tell he didn't believe me, but before he could say anything the doctor walked in, "I'm sorry but Jade needs her rest now, but you can come back in a few hours."

I looked at Beck, and I couldn't help but ask, "Are gonna come back?"

"Of course I will." he smiled, "There's no way I'd leave you alone here."

"Promise?" I hated the way my voice shook.

"Promise."

**So do you guys want me to go straight to the diagnosis next chapter, or should I put one in between, to show more of Jade's POV or something like that? I'll only update if I get some feedback!**


	4. Shattered

**Thanks so much for the reviews guys! So I decided to put Jade's POV in, sorry it's short, but you can only talk about feelings for so long, before you start repeating yourself ;)**

_Jade POV_

I've been in the hospital for about 6 days now ( I think), and I've been scared out of my mind the whole time. The first few days, my thoughts had been reduced to simple 5 word sentences. I couldn't think straight and I was a mess. I hated every minute of it.

My friends checked in on me often, along with Beck, and usually I would hate being seen so powerless and defeated, but I was actually glad to have them there.

I didn't like being alone. The darkness had betrayed me. I use to seek comfort in it's black depths that shielded me from the world, but now it seemed to try to suffocate me. I couldn't hide, I couldn't get away from it, it was always there...watching me... waiting for it's opportunity to strike.

Even when I blinked, scenes from _that_ night played repetitively across my eyelids. No where was safe. Not even in Beck's arms, it just didn't feel right. Not now. I tried to revert to my old self, and enjoy his loving embraces, but I couldn't. Every time anyone even grazed my arm I'd flinch, imagining that freak. His tall stature looming over me, and his eyes burning wholes into mine. I couldn't take it. But I had to hold it in. I couldn't show my inner turmoil, no matter how much it hurt. I had already let my barriers down sometimes, and Beck had caught me sobbing a couple of nights. Those were the only times where I was able to feel comfortable around him, and spent countless hours crying into his welcoming shoulders.

He would always stay silent and twirl my hair with his fingers. But the mood would always be ruined sooner or later when I fell into another fitful sleep and imagined it was that asshole, and I would scramble away from Beck.

I hated the look in his eyes every time I did. They would become consumed with pain, and even though I apologized, I never returned to him. I would just snuggle under the crisp hospital sheets, and his gaze would fall unblinkingly on me, as I just drowned in my sea of self-loathing.

As much as Beck would protest, I knew this was my fault. I shouldn't have gone to Hunter's stupid party. I shouldn't have freaked out on Beck, I knew he wasn't gonna do anything with Tori anyway. But I couldn't bare the thought of losing him...not again. After that one time he broke with me, and I actually had to go to for _Vega _help, I promised I would never let him go again. But instead of becoming less possessive, like I should have considering that's how I lost him in the first place, I became even more.

Now here I was, petrified, shattered and scarred, all because I didn't listen.

But tomorrow I was going home. I was going to face the world and all the awaiting fears that had come with my rape.

**Well this was pretty hard to write, but I think it came out pretty good. But it's your guys opinions that matter, so tell me what you think :)**


	5. The Beginning of the End

**Okay so I know I'm probably wrong with the medical information, but hey don't blame me, blame google :) Anyways this is when the story really begins, so enjoy.**

_Beck POV_

It had been 3 weeks since Jade was raped, and she hasn't been the same since. I mean she was still rude and sardonic, but the pain that shined in her eyes was obvious.

I was there for her every step of the way, but that freak who did this to her really scarred her. Every time I would hug, or even touch her she'd flinch as if she'd been burned. It was worse in the beginning, but she seems to trust me more, and knows that I'd NEVER do anything to hurt her.

Some of the STD results had come back, and with everyone we gave a sigh of relief. So far we knew that she didn't have chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes or anything of that nature, but there were still more they were testing for.

I swear if anything happened to her, I would hunt down that perv myself and kill him with my bare my hands.

"Beck come on we gotta go!" Jade called from outside my RV, her voice cracked at the end. She wouldn't admit it, but I knew she hated the hospital. Heck, who didn't.

"Coming!" I shouted back.

As usual the car ride was pretty quiet. Ever since Hunter's party, she hadn't talked very much, and she always had a far away look in her eyes.

"What's today?" She looked over at me.

"Um, Saturday."

"Ugh no, I mean what results are they giving today?" She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I don't remember, but we've been pretty lucky so far, so you'll be fine." I squeezed her hand, keeping my eyes on the road and I smiled when she didn't pull away.

As we arrived at the hospital I helped her out of the car, "Beck I'm not disabled or anything, I can get out of a fucking car myself." she snapped.

I put my hands up in surrender, and we walked inside.

"Jadelyn West, I'm here for some STD results." she told the receptionist automatically. We've been in and out of the hospital so much these past weeks, it's become automatic.

"Ah yes, Dr. Peterson will be with you shortly." the receptionist smiled.

Even though it seems like we had done this eleventybillion times, I was still nervous as we awaited my girlfriend's fate.

I looked over and see that even she was a little pale.

"Ms. West?" Dr Peterson walked in with a clipboard. We stood up, and followed him to our usual room.

But something was different. He didn't greet us with a smile as usual, and I could tell he was trying to avoid eye contact.

The doctor cleared his throat and looked at his clipboard, "We have examined Jadelyn's blood and found a virus in it." he stated.

"What kind of virus?" I asked, my heart speeding up.

"It seems to be attacking her immune system and is infecting he CD4+T cells." he still gazed down at his papers.

"Wh-what does that?" I stuttered, as fear's cold metallic hands clawed it's way in my chest, and I reached reflexively for Jade's hand.

Finally he looked up at me, his eyes sad and full of pity, " I'm sorry but Jadelyn has Human Immunodeficiency Virus, she's HIV positive."

My throat closed, and I struggled for air. This couldn't be happening, not to Jade, not to _my_ Jade. Please God no, this wasn't supposed to happen, she didn't deserve this.

My right hand started to lose some of it's feeling, and I noticed Jade squeezing my hand for all it's worth. Her face blanched, and her eyes were wide with fear.

"But don't worry, many people are able to live a long healthy life despite being HIV positive." he said reassuringly.

"Wh-what about her?" I stuttered. At the moment I didn't care about other people, all that mattered was Jade, my love.

"I am sure she will be one of those people, it's just a change that she's going to have to adapt to. Which I'm sure she can do, she is very strong." He smiled slightly.

I hoped so, I couldn't imagine my life without Jade, she was my everything.

"Jade are you okay?" I looked at her, realizing she hadn't said a word. She was still super pale, and she was now trembling slightly. "I-I don't know." she stared up at me, and tears glistened in her eyes.

I felt my heart crack, and I was desperate to make her happy again. To see her smile, to see her laugh, to make it all better. "Don't worry, I promise it'll be alright." I whispered.

"How do know, how can you promise that?" she snapped, tears now falling unheeded down her too- white face.

"Because I'm not gonna lose you, I can't. I won't." I reached and wiped away her tears.

_Jade POV_

I was going to die. I knew I was. I don't know how, but I just did, despite the things Dr. Peterson said, I knew I wouldn't be one of the lucky one's who'd live a happy, care-free life. That just wasn't how things worked for me, I had to fight for everything I wanted. And although my mind wanted to fight, my body was betraying me.

It was almost like I could feel the microscopic viruses tearing away at my immune system, destroying me. I hated it. I hated feeling so helpless and scared, it wasn't me.

In the past 3 weeks alone I've cried more than I have my whole life. It was so tiring.

"Let's go." I said softly.

"Of course babe, thank you Dr. Peterson." Beck said still holding my hand.

"Anytime, but if anything is wrong, even the slightest cough, please call the hospital, so we can decide if it's anything serious." He opened the door, "And your next appointment is next Saturday."

"Alright." Beck said, and we walked silently to the car.

Once we were in Beck looked at me, tears gleaming in his eyes. But Beck never cried...

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you now, forever, and always" he said softly, and kissed my forehead gingerly, before going to his R.V.

**Sooooo how was it? I'll update either tomorrow or the day after, but I already have most of it written so it'll probably be tomorrow. Any how PLEASE REVIEW!  
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	6. Distractions

**This is more of fluff chapter, but hey every Bade story needs some of those right? Anywho enjoy!**

_Beck POV_

Jade and I both decided it'd be better to go my R.V instead of her house considering her mom had remarried and moved to Connecticut, and her dad was pretty much an ass.

When we got there Jade plopped herself on my pull out bed.

"C'mon babe, you heard the doctor, I'm sure you'll be fine." I tried to reassure her, "Plus I here nowadays people can live with HIV for at _least _10 years, some even more."

"Where did you hear that?" she grumbled, her head dug into the pillow.

"I know a guy, who knows a guy, who _knows _a guy." I joked.

She looked up from the pillow, and I was rewarded with a small smile "That doesn't even make sense."

"I know, but I've always wanted to say that." I grinned goofily.

She rolled her eyes, and then dropped her head back onto the pillow, "What are we gonna do?" she groaned, her voice muffled.

I bit my lip and sat next to her, "Listen, I have absolutely no idea what this is going to mean for our lives, but I refuse to give up on you." I placed my hand gently on her back, " You may not believe in yourself, but I always will. I will always be there for you. I will always stand up for you while others stay seated. I will always love you because... because _your love your love your love is my drug, your love your love-_." I burst out singing, but was interrupted by a face full of pillow.

"SHUT UP! I HATE THAT FUCKING SONG!" she screeched, but I could see the smile playing on her lips, and that was enough for me.

"hahahaha sorry, I couldn't help myself. But seriously I think I'd go into withdraw, and end up in an insane asylum rocking back and forth in a straight jacket while singing my abc's or something without you."

She looked at me weirdly and raised one eyebrow "Did you take your meds this morning?"

"Ah man, I knew I forgot something!" I threw my hands in the air in mock frustration.

"You are on messed up kid Beckette Oliver, I don't even know I'm going out with you." She turned back around to lay down.

"Is it because of my sexy ass hair?" I snuck up behind her, "Or maybe my ripped muscles? Oh no wait I got it, it's my dazzling eyes right?" I grinned.

She looked at me up and down before smirking and saying, "No, it's your sense of humor."

"Ha. . Your snide remarks slay me." I brought her closer into my arms, and was surprised to see she didn't even tense. "But I know why I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"Is it my dazzling eyes?" she mimicked me, in that way she always does to Tori.

"Partly, but I love the inside of you more, the you behind streaked hair, and combat boots."

"Oh please don' t get all sappy with me," she looked up at me again.

"But why?" I smiled, "You're everything to me, and I'd do anything for you, in fact I'd even CATCH A GRENDA FOR YA, THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YA, JUMP IN-"

"I am seriously gonna kill you!" she hit my arm.

"Hahahah no you won't, you love me too much." I snuggled her close to me.

"Whatever." she tried to hide a smile. She failed.

**I know it was short, but I didn't really no what else to write, but I'll definitely make the next one longer. **


	7. Always

_Jade POV_

"C'mon we have to tell them sometime." Beck said.

"Why it's none of their business anyway." I avoided looking at him.

"They're our friends, and they're worried for you. The least you can do is update them on your um... status."

I laughed dryly, "Uh if by 'status' you mean me being HIV positive, I don't see why they need to know. They're just gonna freak out, and start acting like I can't do things by myself or something."

"So if Cat had HIV, you wouldn't want her to tell you?" He asked matter of factly.

Alright he got me there, I might not admit it, but Cat's my best friend. We met in like 3rd grade or something, and she was one of the few people who weren't scared of my all-black clothing, and fake tattoos. You know the ones like those spiderman and cars one. Yeah well mine weren't like that, they were usually skulls, or bloody butterflies.

"Fine." I grumbled.

Beck smiled slightly, "Alright I'll go call them over." He reached for his phone.

"Wait, why do we have they have to know this very minute?"

"Would you rather tell them at school?" He cocked his eye.

I glared at him, but kept quiet.

I sat down on the couch scowling at the wall, as he called everyone over.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have pushed you to this, but they need to know." He sat next to me, and placed his arm around me.

I shrugged him off, and continued my staring contest with the wall.

"C'mon babe, I'm sorry but you know they can't be clueless the whole time, please don't be mad at me, I'm only trying to help." He pleaded.

I hated hearing him like that, and I wanted to forgive him, but my pride told me forgiveness was weak. I don't why, but it felt like I lost when I forgave someone, like I didn't win the argument, and Jade West doesn't lose.

Beck sighed at my continued silence, and said in a defeated voice "Fine I guess I'll just..." He got up to walk away, but then turned like a ninja and started attacking my stomach with his swift fingers.

"Beck...stop...Beck!" I said in between laughs, and tried pushing him off, but it was useless.

"You know what you gotta do if you want me to stop." He beamed, and continued tickling me.

"Fat...chance!" I laughed.

"Alright you asked for it!" His fingers danced even quicker across my belly.

So he wanted to play games huh? Fine, game on.

"Beck...stop!" my breath caught, and I started gasping for air.

Instantly his eyes widened in fear, and he pulled his hands away, "Jade, oh my gosh are you okay?"

But I just turned on my side, trying and failing to catch my breath, probably resembling a fish out of water.

"What's wrong?Oh God I didn't mean for this to happen," he hovered over me, unsure of what to do, "I'm sorry."

"Ding ding ding we have a winner." I turned to face him, a huge grin lighting my face.

"Wh-what?" His face morphed into confusion.

It was priceless.

"I told you to stop." I smirked, "And now you stopped."

Now most guys would probably have been pissed and shit, but Beck's not like most guys.

"I should have expected as much from you." he smiled slightly. "But just no Jadelyn West, I will get my revenge." he said darkly.

"Revenge? Ha, what can a little pretty boy like you do?" I smirked.

He stroked his chin, thinking, and then stuck his finger in the air "Eureka, I'll stop getting you coffee." He grinned.

My face fell, "You wouldn't dare."

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Beck I swear if you stop getting me my caffeinated drug, I will pluck every single one of your hairs in your sleep, you look like my bald Uncle Fredric" I swore.

He faltered for a second. Ha got him.

"That's okay hair grows back." He smiled.

"C'mon PWWEEEAASSEE Beck!" I tried a different approach, and made my best puppy dog face.

"Hey no fair, you can't play the puppy dog face." He immediately looked away.

I took his face gently and turned it towards mine, willing his him to give in.

"Stay strong Beck, don't fall for it, your better than that," He muttered to himself, looking anywhere but at me, "Just don't look at her, think of something else, anything else."

"Pwetty pwease Beck." I said softly in his ear.

"Fine!" He brought me into him, "I could never say no to you anyway." He whispered in the crook of my neck.

"Awwww you guys are so cute, like a chubby pink chinchilla!" Cat walked in the R.V followed by Andre, Robbie and Vega.

"Um don't you guys knock." I sneered, and pulled slightly away from Beck.

"We did but you guys didn't answer so we took the liberty of letting ourselves in." The puppet said.

Before I could retort Vega piped up, "So what did you call us in for?"

I instantly looked down as I was forced back to reality.

"Oh, uh well we went to the hospital yesterday and..." Beck trailed off, and I could feel his eyes on me, as if waiting for me to continue, but this was his idea, so he better not be expecting anything from me.

"And uh, Jade has HIV." He finished awkwardly.

A blanket of silence fell over the room, suffocating us all. Everyone was staring at me as if they were expecting me to drop dead right then and there.

Silent tears masked Cat's face, and her eyes were overcome with fear, sadness, and worst of all pity. This is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know, as soon as people hear that the slightest thing is wrong with someone they start acting different, whether it be for good or for bad.

I waited for someone to say something, but all they did was stare. At me. At Beck. I couldn't take it anymore.

"So are you guys gonna say something or just gawk at us!" I snapped.

Andre blinked before saying, "Sorry it just that-"

"Are you gonna die Jade?" Cat burst out, and then covered her mouth, as if trying to stop herself. Too late.

I looked at her and smirked, "And leave Beck all alone for the sluts of the world to take my place, uh no thanks."

"But-" she squeaked.

"Listen Cat, I'm gonna be fine, besides who would protect you from all the assholes that mess with you." Well I hated to say it but as Cat's best friend, I was pretty much the only thing stopping jerks from praying on her ever-increasing weirdness.

She smiled slightly, "Really?"

"Really, I'm not going anywhere."

"D-doesn't HIV turn into AIDS?" Robbie asked nervously.

"Yeah but it could take years to turn into that." Beck said quickly.

"I'm really sorry Jade." Tori spoke for the first time.

"For what?" I narrowed my eyes. I never understood why people apologized for something they had absolutely no control over.

She thought for a second before saying, "Because this shouldn't have happened to you, you don't deserve this."

"Yeah well..." I looked down, feeling sorta awkward.

Beck squeezed my hand reassuringly, and I instantly felt comforted. I don't why this happened to me, and I don't what's in store, but what I knew for sur is that Beck would always be here for me. Always.

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, don't really have an excuse, I was just lazy :) but finals start friday for me, so I might not be able to update as much as usual, but I'll try!**

**IMPORTANT Okay guys so do you guys want Tori to turn on Jade or be her friend in this story. I need your guys feedback so I can update sooner! But thanks for the reviews so far :)**


	8. Exposed

**Thanks everyone for the reviews! I hope you like this chapter, because it took me forever to think of what it should be about :) **

_Jade POV_

"Jade wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" Beck shook me slightly.

"I don't even like bacon, it's greasy, disgusting, and fattening." I rolled over to look up at my boyfriend.

"Okkaayyy then, wakey waykey, eggs and some-healthy-food... akey" He smiled.

I rolled my eyes, and dragged myself out of bed. "I don't even get why I have to go to school, I'm sick remember?" I batted my eyes.

"Hey aren't you the one who said to pity you are anything?" He cocked his eyebrow, "So that means I have to treat you as I usually would, and that means this." He grabbed me by the waist and placed me over his shoulder, fireman style.

"Damnit Beck, put me down!" I pounded my fist against his back.

"Please calm down miss, I am only trying to help you." He laughs, "This is an emergency, I have 20 minutes to get you to Hollywood Arts."

"And if you don't?" I had given up on attacking his back.

"The world will end as we know it." He said darkly.

"Well in that case don't you think it'd be a good idea to let me down, so I can I don't know, _change_!"

"Hmmm you have a point there lil' lady, but just make sure you do it in T-minus 12 minutes and 47 seconds." He set me on the ground.

"You are such an idiot." I grumble, and get my clothes and head for the bathroom.

"Love you too sweetheart!" He calls as I walk away.

"Call me sweetheart one more time and I'll beat your face in with a golf club!" I call back.

After throwing on some clothes, and my signature combat boots, I strutted to Beck's truck.

"Impressive, we now have 34 extra seconds to spare." He smiled.

"Just give me my coffee." I stuck my awaiting hand out.

"Excuse me, but what is the magic word little missy." he chuckles.

"Beck are you high or something, because it can't be healthy for someone to be this happy in the morning."

"That hurts Jade, I can't believe that my own girlfriend would accuse me of something like that, I am sor-ry that-"

"Oh my God Beck, just give my damn coffee so we can go!" I snap.

"Well then!" He huffs, and hands me the coffee.

So this is our normal morning school routine. Beck acts like an idiot, I snap at him for it, he gives me coffee, and then we start all over again, pretty exciting huh?

As we arrived at school I could tell that immediately that something was different. People looked at me weirdly, and even the teachers gazed at me sympathetically.

"What the hell are you looking at!" I snapped at a boy who was gawking at me like I was a walking freak show.

He quickly scurried away to class.

"Calm down Jade." Beck put his hand on my shoulder.

I stared at him incredulously, and my eyes darted at the awaiting audience that had gathered.

"Come with me." I hissed, and dragged him to the janitor's closet.

"Someone told!" I scream-whispered.

"We can't prove that, one of the student's parents could be doctor or something and heard, or maybe the principal found out, and thought it was right to alert the parents." He tried to reassure me.

"Alert them? I don't have a contagious disease Beck! I'm still me, and I don't see how it's any of the school's damn business what I have or don't have!" I practically screeched.

"I know babe, just try to ignore, they'll get over it soon." He wrapped his arm around me, and lead me out in the hallway.

Luckily it was empty since classes had started, and we headed to Sikowitz's room

"Beck, Jade your late!" Our crazy teacher scolded.

"Sorry, we were uh... busy." Beck rushed us to our seats.

A wolf whistle broke the rooms silence, and I glared in the direction of the perv who did it.

It was that stupid puppet of Robbies. I swear one day I''m gonna 'accidentally' drop him in a wood chipper. "Shut the fuck up puppet." I muttered.

Robbie opened his mouth, ready to defend the thing, but Sikowitz beat him to it, "Jade, this is not a rodeo in 1986, because if it were there's be chickens... so many chickens... and clowns in bathtubs... oh yeah and dancing ferrets...ah man good times." He got a far away look in his eyes, and smiled.

I looked at Beck, but he simply shrugged.

The reminiscent teacher finally looked back at me and said, "But anyways there is no use for this language in my class."

In the corner of my eyes I swear I saw Tori smirk, and I clench my fist, "Whatever."

"Good, now Barry, Allen, Ronald and Spencer your up, you're all angry dolphins!"

Everyone looks at each other questioningly and eventually Sikowitz says, "Ehm why don't hear the glorious squeaking of an angry dolphin?"

"Um none of those kids are in our class." Robbie says nervously.

The balding teacher blinks a couple of times, "Are Beck, Andre, Robbie and Sinjin not in this class?"

"Uh yeah, but you definitely didn't say those names." Andre said

"Nonsense of course I did, now begin."

After a semi-entertaining class, I told Beck I'd meet up with him later, and took extra time getting my books.

Finally Miss Perfect finished talking to Sikowitz about the play that she _yet again _got the lead in, and I followed her into the empty hallway.

"I know you told." I hissed.

"Um are you talking about how I told Trina really needs to stop wearing jumpsuits to the YMCA, then I fully admit to that. So what?"

"Shut up, you know what I'm talking about." My eyes narrowed.

"Listen Jade, I have no idea what you mean, now can I go I'm gonna be late for Bio?" She tried to sidestep, but I move in her way.

"You told everyone I have HIV." I said beyond exasperated.

She smirked slightly, but quickly hides it, "No I didn't, the principal probably found out from the doctors or something."

"Cut the bullshit Vega, I know it was you."

"Listen Jade, did you ever think that maybe people just hate you for you, and not your little virus. It's not my fault that everyone suddenly turned on you." she sneered, "Besides it was matter a time until they did, I'm not the only one who's tired of your bitchy attitude, soon your 'friends'" She put air quotes around the last word, "Will leave you too, and then ultimately your boyfriend once he sees theres no chance for you."

I don't know why I did it. I wasn't thinking. I just acted, but before I knew it, Vega was unconscious on the ground with blood pooling from her nose.

I heard a gasp, and a girl from my dance class ran to get help.

Shit, shit shit! I had to get out of here.

I ran out the school doors, and tried to put as much distance between me and the school as possible. I hated that slut! Every single ounce in me wanted her to suffer, and I couldn't help but smirk at the image of her lying knocked out on the floor. I knew from day one she was trying to steal Beck away from me, and it wasn't until now that I thought he actually might. Why would Beck go out with me, when we couldn't even have sex? There's no other reason he'd stay with me, I mean I'm a bitch to everyone and I relish in people's misery.

As my breath started coming in gasps I slowed down, and found I myself in front of the local burger joint.

I walked in ignoring the many buzzes from my cell phone. I really wasn't in the mood to explain why I punched Vega. I mean obviously she deserved it, but I'm not sure anyone else would feel the same way.

I ordered a cheeseburger, curly fries, and a diet soda, and sat in the back.

But that's when it happened.

As I tok a bite out of the burger, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You better get your hands off me or I swear I'll-" I snapped, but stopped mid-sentence when I was met with a pair of cold dark eyes. The same eyes that I saw almost every night in my nightmares. It was that creep who raped me. He smiled seductively at me, and his grip on my shoulder tightened slightly.

"Hey babe, long time no see."

**Mwhahah I left it on a cliff hanger! So you might of thought that I made Tori turn on her in this story, maybe I did, and maybe I didn't *evil grin* I definitely have a lot of twists in store for this story. But I need reviews so I know people are interested, so keep 'em coming. But thans SO much to the people who already have, I love reading them :D**


	9. Poor Little Kieran

**Sorry for the short chapter, but I just wanted to get something up. And thanks SO MUCH for the reviews again.**

_Creep/Rapist POV_

"Hey babe, long time no see." I smiled seductively at Jade, and relished in the fear that crossed her face, but she quickly masked it.

"What are you doing here?" she tried to keep her voice steady. Key word: tried. She may be a good actress, but she's not _that _good.

"What, can't I just say hi?" I replied innocently.

"Look, there are tons of people around so don't think you can try something just because I'm alone." She snapped, but quickly regretted it.

Hm, so she was alone was she? Interesting.

"Care to take a stroll my lady, but lets be quick about it because I have people to see, and places to be."

"I'm sorry but my mommy told me not to go anywhere with strangers." She sneered.

"Strangers? You mean you don't recognize me?" I grinned.

The gothic girl looked at me blankly.

She might not have remembered me, but I definitely knew her. How could I forget, she's the reason I have this fucking disease in the first place.

"Does 8th grade ring bell ring a bell?"

"Listen you're obviously a fucking nutcase, so can you _please _just leave me alone."

I ignored her, "You really don't remember me do you?"

"Are you deaf, I just said-"

"Here little Jadey let me tell you a story."

"Don't call me Ja-"

"Don't interrupt me." I said, only low enough for her to hear, and smirked as fear sparked in her eyes.

"Now shut the fuck up and listen. Once upon a time in Quincy Roger Middle School there was a nice little boy named Kieran, and an evil witch named Jade. Now this evil witch wasn't nice to anyone, she bullied and hurt anything and everything in sight, but especially poor little Kieran. And one day Jade was feeling extra bitter, so after school she followed Kieran outside, and started picking on him. Not a very nice thing for her to do, am I right Jade?" I gazed at her.

She nodded weakly.

"Yes Kieran didn't like it very much either, and hoping for her to leave, he told her, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

"Hmph is that so?" the wicked witch of the West smirked, and quickly pushed Kieran to the ground. It wasn't hard but it was enough. She left Kieran there all alone in the empty sidewalk, but what Jade didn't know was that Kieran was hemophiliac. She didn't know that his blood took an extra long time to clot, and that something as simple as a push could really hurt poor little Kieran.

As Kieran dragged himself home, and told his mom what happened, she quickly gave him factor so that his blood could clot. Now these days all blood that is donated is 99.99% free of anything that could be harmful. But do you know why it's only 99.99 and not 100% free?" I looked down at her.

She shook her head numbly.

"Because there is always that one unlucky person who gets a bad batch of blood. Kieran was that unlucky person this time Jade.

Anyways after a couple of weeks Kieran stayed home a couple sick days too many, so his mom took him to the hospital. Kieran and his family were only expecting to hear that he had something minor and curable. But do you what they were told instead Jade?" I don't let her answer, "That day on April 23rd 2008 the doctors told Kieran he had AIDS. That fateful day is when Kieran's world crumbled. His parents didn't want him to go back to that school, they didn't want him to go to any school. So Mommy quit work and home-schooled poor little Kieran. But it didn't stop there, soon Mommy got over-protective over her little boy. She didn't want him to die, so she sheltered him. Kieran never got to play outside with other kids. He never got to go on vacation like other kids. He didn't get to do anything like other kids did. And do you know what Kieran did in his free time?" Again I didn't let her answer.

"He hated. He hated everything. He hated his mom. He hated the other kids. He hated the doctors. But most of all he hated Jade. He swore that one day she would pay just as he was. So in the summer before 11th grade he came up with a plan; he ran away from home. His mom was obviously in hysterics but he didn't care, all he cared about was revenge. Revenge he'd soon get. After many weeks of searching for the wicked witch, he'd found her. She was just as evil as before, but somehow she'd managed to make friends, she even had a boyfriend. Kieran's hate grew more and more as he saw how happy Jade was, he wanted that happiness, but it was too late for him. So he watched Jade, he stalked her, he observed her, and he found her weakness. He knew she had a bad home life, and without her friends and boyfriend she'd be nothing. So that's when Kieran came up with his brilliant plan, he'd ruin her life, the same way she did to him.

Kieran would give Jade AIDS.

So then everyone would leave and reject her just as they did to Kieran. Poor poor little Kieran.

Poor poor little me." I finished my story with a triumphant smirk, thankful that she chose the darkest corner, far away from everyone, so know one could hear me.

"B-but I don't have AIDS." She whispered, trying and failing to hide her dread.

"I didn't think I had it either, but look at me now. I'm skinny, pale and dying, just like you will."

"I-" she started but I cut her off, as I realized my time was running out.

"Now listen here Jade, if you tell anyone this story, whether it be the cops, your friends, or your precious little boyfriend, I will kill him. And don't think I won't, I got nothing to lose anymore." I looked at my watch one last time.

"Buh bye Jadey, see you on the flip side." I smile and walk casually out, leaving her confused, disbelieving and scared out of her mind. Just like poor little Kieran.

**So those were probably the longets paragraphs I've ever written, at least on fanfiction ;) But anyways I decided to give Kieran a little backstory and not some random rapist. So now he has an incentive for hurting Jade even more which I think will hopefully make the story a lot more interesting *evil grin***


	10. He's Gonna be Mine

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! And sorry to the people who wanted Tori to be Jade's friend, but I didn't get those reviews until I already updated the next chapter, and I made her pretty not-friendish so... I hope you like it anyways. And it's not like I don't like Tori, I just think it might be a little more interesting the other way :p So yeah there's gonna be some major OOC with Tori**

**Anywho enjoy the chapter it's sorta boring but it was more a filler.**

_Jade POV_

I didn't know how long I sat at my table, simply frozen in shock, but after the 5th ring I decided to answer my phone.

"Hello-" I started, but was cut off my Beck's frantic voice.

"Jade! Are you okay? Where are you? Why did you do that to to Tori? What-"

"Beck I'm fine, and I'll tell you about it later, but can you just drop the Tori thing for now?" I say quietly, "Please."

His voice instantly softened, "What's wrong?"

"I...nothing." I decided not to tell Beck about Kieran since he'd most likely just freak out or something.

"Babe you know you can tell me anything right? There's not a thing you could do that can change how I feel about you."

I hesitated for a second before saying, "I know... Look I'll just meet you at the R.V okay?" I asked tiredly.

"Yeah, sure." I could hear the disappointment in his voice when I didn't tell him what was bothering me. But how could I? Kieran said he'd kill Beck if I did, and there is no way I can let that happen.

As I slowly got up from the table I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach, and I clutched my stomach while groaning. It felt as if someone had reached inside me a squeezed the chiz out of my guts, but it disappeared just as quickly.

Great now Kieran got me all paranoid.

Luckily Beck's R.V wasn't too far away from here, so in a matter of minutes I arrived and easily picked the lock before getting in.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 12:30, so Beck wouldn't get here in about 2 hours.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, I collapsed on the couch, and fell asleep before I even hit the couch.

_Tori POV_

I can't believe that bitch punched me, and not only that but she broke my nose. All I did was tell her the truth, it wasn't my fault if she couldn't handle it. I swear she's gonna pay for this, and I might as well start with that pretty boys of hers.

And right on cue, Beck walked into hospital room I had woken up in, "Hey Tori, how you feeling?"

It's a good thing I'm an awesome actress so I can milk this thing, "I'm okay, but my nose hurts a little." I laugh nervously, and scrunch up my nose slightly in the process, which causes me to cry out in pain.

"What's wrong?" Beck exclaims.

"Haha nothing, it just hurts a little more than I expected." I smile timidy

"Oh, well I'm really sorry." Beck looks down at his sneakers.

"Don't be it's not your fault, I guess I just got on Beck's bad side." I smile, and add, "But I guess that's just all of her huh?"

"Yeah well she's been through a lot lately." He says.

I don't get how he can stick up for her when she put me in a fucking hospital. But I couldn't let him see how pissed I was, "Yeah, you're right, I feel so bad for her. I can't imagine what she's going through." _But it's not like she doesn't deserve it_, I thught to myself.

"Yeah but she seems to managing alright."

"Thats good, well you can tell her I forgive her about well you know, breaking my nose. I'd tell her myself, but I'd think she break my neck next." I laughed.

"Really you do?" He smiles ignoring my last comment, "I'm sure she'd really appreciate that." Is he serious, how can he think that she is all innocent and shit just because she was raped. She's still evil and heartless, but I guess it's up to me to show him that.

"But you know what would be the best forgiveness offering?" I grinned.

"Umm giving her customized scissors." He shrugged.

"Hahah although i'm sure she'd love that, I was gonna say we all go out for ice cream, you know to show that everything okay between us."

"That sounds great but Jade doesn't really like ice cream." Like I didn't already know that.

"Oh really?" I frowned, "Well how about just you and me then... you know as friends." I added when he frowned slightly.

"Nah I got a lot of homework today." He grabbed his bag from the chair.

"Oh well... see ya later then." I said, obviously disappointed.

His eyes softened, and he quickly said, "Maybe later though." He flashed me his brilliant smile, that I melted under.

Stupid stupid Jade. I don't get how Beck could fall for her. He didn't deserve her. I did. And I would make sure that no matter what it took I would have him. And soon.

**Alright I know that was super short, but I had a writer's block, and couldn't think of what to write. But either the next chapter or the chapter after will definitely be A LOT more interesting, so... yeah hopefully this chapter was okay anyways :D**


	11. Rumors

**Guess what? Tomorrow's my last day of school! That means I can update quicker, but there will also be periods of time where I like disappear since I'm going to be traveling a lot... Anyways I decided to move the 'big/exciting-ish chapter' a little later, so sorry for that, but I'll definitely have it up soon. I already typed it I just need to fit in with the rest of the story. Any who enjoy the chapter!**

_**-Jade POV-**_

__I ended up sleeping all the way to the next day, partly because I wanted to avoid talking to Beck about what happened yesterday, and partly because I'm dead tired.

Even after my 17 odd hour snooze, I still felt like I just pulled an all-nighter.

I woke to the piercing sound of Beck's obnoxious alarm clock echoing in the silent R.V

"Make it stop." Beck groaned.

I sat up, but instead of turning it off I grabbed my pillow, and pounded him on the head.

"Okay okay, I'll do it!" He covered his head, before I could hit him again.

"It should be a crime having to wake up this early." He wiped his eyes tiredly.

"You can say that again." I grumbled.

"It should be a crime to wake u this early."

I glared at him, "Just hurry up and take a shower."

"Yes ma'am." He saluted.

I fell back asleep instantly, and when he woke me up, to tell me me it was my turn for the shower, I felt tireder then I did before.

Ugh I hate, Tuesdays... and Wednesdays... and Thursdays... and- you know what I'm just tired of school in general.

I heaved myself out of the bed, and turned myself on auto-pilot while doing my morning routine.

After grabbing my backpack, Beck looked up at me after putting on his shoes, and asked, "You ready babe?"

"No, I'm just standing here with my bag, because it's fun." I replied dryly.

He sighed, and threw his bag over his shoulder, before we went to his truck.

"What's wrong?" He looked over at me, obviously concerned, since I just sat there and stared out the window.

"Nothing." I siad bluntly.

"You sure?"

"Yea, I'm just tired."

He hesitated before saying, "Is it because of whatever happened yesterday?"

I stiffened slightly, "No."

"Please Jade, I just wanna help, what happened with you and Tori." He looked desperately at me.

I sighed, and finally gave in, "She's the one who told everyone I had HIV." I decided not to tell him about the part where she said she'd steal my boyfriend though.

"Are you sure she didn't mean something else?" He asked, clearly not believing that little miss Perfect could do such a thing.

"Yes Beck I'm sure, I heard straight form the horses mouth." I thought and then added, "Or should I say cow...or maybe-"

"Don't worry Babe, I'm sure she just meant she knew who did it." He rested his hand on mine, ignoring my rant.

We pulled into a parking spot, and I snapped at him, "Why do you always take her side?"

He blinked in surprise before saying, "I don't I just-"

But I just barged out of truck and towards the school, but instead of people whispering in fear like they usually do, since I'm the HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge) of the school, everyone was obviously pissed.

"Did you here what she did yesterday?"

"Yeah, I hear she punched Tori, and broke her nose."

"Really, I heard she threatened Tori and then beat her upside the head with a brick until she was unconscious."

"No no no, I heard she stabbed Tori with a pair of scissors, and almost killed her."

I turned menacingly around to the asshole that said the last comment, ready to stab him with a pair scissors, but Beck put his hand comfortingly on my shoulder, "Just ignore them, they're not worth it." He siad under is breath, but apparently it wasn't quiet enough.

"Yeah we don't want you getting your third strike, now do we Jadey Poo?" The douche bag, whose name was Nick, sneered.

"Shut the fuck up Dickolas." I spat.

"Ooo haven't heard that one before." He and his friends laughed.

I ground my teeth, and clenched my knuckles so hard I could almost feel the blood leave them, as they turned bone white, "Unless you want your eyes gouged out with a spoon, I suggest you get the hell away from me."

"Oooo someone's a scary little witch huh?" He scoffed.

I stepped toward him, giving him one of my notorious glares, and smirked when fear flashed in his eyes and he flinched back.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I smiled, and left with Beck's hand in mine.

"You know your pretty sexy when you're all badass." He whispered in my ear.

"Shut I'm still pissed at you." I muttered.

But before he could reply, Cat came bounding towards us, "Oh my gosh Jade, everyone is talking about you, what happened with you and Tori?"

"Why don't you ask her, that's who everyone seems to believing." I said not looking at her.

"I can't she's still at the hospital."

Bitch, I knew Tori wasn't at the hospital, she was exaggerating so people could feel bad for her.

"Well nothing happened." I growled.

Cat gave me a look showing she didn't believe me, but luckily she didn't press any over.

The bell went off, and before I could go to class, Beck pulled me off to the side. "Listen Jade I'm really sorry, I didn't mean t make it seem that I always side with Tori, but I need you to know that you are all that matters to me, and I'll always be there for you." He looked me deeply in the eyes, and then added, "whether you want me there or not."

"And I need you to know that I'm 100% sure that she spread the rumors about me."

He stifled a sigh, "Alright how about I'll get Andre to ask some people where they heard it."

"And why can't you or I do it?"

"Because they won't tell the truth to us, considering your the person it's about, and I'm your boyfriend."

"Ugh fine, but don't come apologizing to me, when you find out the truth." I warned.

_**-Andre POV-**_

__No surprise that Jade was over reacting over Tori. I can't believe she broke her nose though, I mean I know they were never really friends and all, but still.

But then again she has been through hell in the past few weeks, since she was raped. So I guess the least I could do was help her out a little bit.

"Hey guys." I went up to a group of guys who were in my history class.

"Sup man." Luke said.

"Did you here about Jade?" I asked.

"Yeah, the whole school fucking knows, I hear she stabbed Tori in the eye with a pencil." Parker exclaimed.

"Uh yeah," I said uncomfortably, "What about that other thing."

"Oh yeah, didn't she fuck some hobo and get HIV or something?" Ryan laughed.

"Where'd you here that?"

"Uh didn't you tell me, Luke?" He looked over at the dirty blonde.

"Yeah Parker told me?" He replied.

"And my parents told me." Parker said.

"Your parents said she had sex with a hobo?" I cocked my eyebrow.

"I don't know man, it was something along those lines." He said nonchalantly.

"Well how did they know?"

"Look dude, I'm just telling where I heard it, and I'm pretty sure thats where most people heard, it's probably policy for the school to warn everyone or something. It's a shame because she's pretty hot, I would of definitely banged her."

"Yea she's pretty smokin' but, the girls a demon, I wouldn't even set foot in a bedroom with her." Ryan laughed.

"So no one else told you about her?"

"Nope, like I said I'm pretty sure all the parents know?" Parker repeated.

Hmph, I guess Jade just was over-reacting.

**Well after 3 days of writer's block I finally figured out what to write for this chapter. Keep in mind I wrote it a 11, (and it's now 11:11!) so there might be a few/ a whole bunch of mistakes. I'll try to update more often, but make sure you guys leave reviews pwease :)**


	12. Drained

**Sorry for not updating in a while, but I had NO IDEA what to do in this chapter, until last night. But hopefully you like it :D**

_**-Jade POV-**_

I smirked as I saw Andre approaching, knowing that he'd finally expose Tori for the gank she really was.

"Hey guys so I just talked to some guys and um... they said that they're parents told them about it." He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"See I told you, it was all just a big misunderstanding." Beck smiled, and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"No." I said darkly, and tensed slightly.

"What?" He looked questioningly at me.

"No. You weren't there, you didn't hear what she said."

"But Andre-" He started.

"I don't give a fuck Beck!" I screamed, and several heads turned towards us, "Just tell me, do you believe me or not?" I growled.

"I-I just think you might have heard her wrong, that's all." he tried to reason.

My eyes widened in disbelief, but I quickly hid any emotion and said in a deadpan tone, "Fuck you."

I turned on my heels, and walked dramatically out the door. I heard Beck calling my name from behind, but it's not like I was actually gonna forgive him just like that.

Thankfully he knew better than to follow me when I was pissed at him.

As I walked out of the school property, I contemplated on what I should do. I mean I wasn't really thinking when I stormed out of the school it was more of a spur of the moment thing. But after last time, I was terrified to go anywhere. Even while just standing out here I felt like he was watching me. Waiting. Waiting for his chance, although truthfully I wasn't totally sure on what he wanted from me. I knew he wanted revenge, but did he want just want to ruin my life, like apparently I did to him? Was he just going to keep raping me until I got AIDS too. Did he want me dead?

I shuddered as the scenarios ran through my head. Damn it Jade, what the hell happened to you? Since when was I scared of anything, since when did I let people control me? Ugh I hated this, I hated Kieran! I hated what he made me; weak, vulnerable, afraid. Those weren't emotions I welcomed, but lately they seemed to haunting me at every thought I even dared to you know what, screw it!

I stomped down the sidewalk to nowhere in particular, but luckily Hollywood Arts, was in a pretty populated area, so I didn't feel as exposed.

As I passed through a particularly crowded street, I did my best not to run into anybody, considering you never know what kind of freaks there are in Hollywood. I mean seriously one day I-

But my thoughts were interrupted as I felt someone roughly hit my shoulder.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't-" The girl started but stopped when she realized who I was.

"Oh hey Jade what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same fucking thing Vega, aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" I spat, as people grumbled while walking around us.

"Come on lets move out of the way before we get trampled." Tori grinned and pulled us toward a small souvenir shop. It took every ounce of self control in me not to rip her head off, for touching me with her filthy bony fingers.

"So why the hell are you here?" I glared at her.

"Well they released me early, since apparently I heal really quickly."

"So why didn't you go to school?"

"I was actually just heading there now." She smiled, quite fakely might I add.

I eyed her multiple shopping bags, "Then what are those for?"

Her sickly sweet smile slid of her face, and was replaced with a scowl, "Well I'm sorry if I didn't go back to a school where someone punches me for no reason."

My eyes flashed dangerously, and I swear if there weren't people around us I'd wring her abnormally skinny neck right then and there. I took a deep breath before saying through clenched teeth, "Why?"

"Why what?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Why did everyone say that their parents tell them you know...about me?"

She smirked, but quickly hid it, "Uh maybe because that's who told them. I told you I didn't tell anyone, I wouldn't do that to you Jade."

I snorted, "Cut the bullshit Vega, I don't have time for your games."

"Well that's good because I'm not playing."

I glared menacingly at her, and could see her squirm under it, but she still didn't budge. Suddenly I just felt totally drained, and didn't feel like messing with her anymore, "Whatever." I grumbled.

"Yeah that's right, walk away, like you do with all your problems, that's fine with me it'll make it easier for me to get to Beck."

I whipped my head towards her, "What. Did. You. Say?" I said so low, I wasn't even sure she could hear me.

"Well with you running away all the time, it leaves Beck wide open." She smiled innocently.

In a matter of seconds I was mere inches away from her face, "Listen, if you value your life whatsoever I wouldn't even think about getting your hands on Beck. He's mine, and will always be mine."I growled into her ear.

"Who the hell are you trying to scare bitch." she spat, "After you see what I have planned for you, I don't think anyone's gonna want anything to do with you." And with that she side stepped me and pranced away to who knows where.

"I swear one day I'm gonna kill her." I muttered.

I plopped down on a nearby bench, feeling completely dead. _What the hell was wrong with me?_

**Well not sure how interesting this chapter was, but I finally thought of what I was gonna do with it, because I had no idea what to write for this one, so sorry for the late update. Any who tell me what you think please!**


	13. When Did Life Become So Complicated?

**I only got 2 reviews in my last 2 chapters :( Thanks so much to secretparamour, happy40 and JuliaFoolia who reviewed, because I know the last chapters have been pretty blah, but if you guys want more chapters then you gotta review. Actually I'll probably update anyways, but more reviews is never a bad thing is it? :) Anywho there's just one more meh chapter (this one) and then I'll (try to) make the next chapters more exciting so ENJOY :D **

_Beck POV_

When did my life get so complicated? I mean there was all this drama at school, the love of my life was raped, and oh yeah she could possibly be dying because of it.

And to make matters worse I just might have pushed her away even further from me. I mean what the hell was I thinking basically saying I didn't believe her! Ugh I'm so stupid. But that didn't sound like something Tori would do, I'm mean she's so nice, I don't even know if there's a mean bone in her body. I just wish Jade would see that I only have eyes for her though, no matter how "nice" Tori was, Jade was...Jade. She was my world, my everything. And I basically just picked Tori over her...

Great.

Jade never did come back to school, not that I expected her to, so I wasn't really worried. I was a little worried when I got to my R.V after school and she wasn't there.

Crap, I really pissed her off.

I wasn't sure if I should call her or something, since I knew she didn't like being bothered when she was mad, but after almost 2 hours, I decided to finally text her.

She didn't answer.

Next I called her parents, I didn't know why she'd be home since she hated it there. I mean her parents weren't evil or anything, they were actually really nice, but that's just the thing. Jade doesn't do nice.

"Hi Mrs. West" I greeted her mom over the phone, knowing it'd be her since her dad was usually at work.

"Oh hi Beck, how nice to hear from you." She answered cheerily.

"It's nice to hear from you too. Um is Jade there?"

"Uh no, I assumed she was with you." She said a little worriedly.

Ah crap I didn't want to freak out her parents, "Oh you know what, I bet she's just with some other friends." I lied.

"Oh alright, can you tell me if by chance she's not there, just in case...something happened." She choked on the last part. I knew Jade being raped had hit home pretty hard for her mom, considering Jade was her only child.

"Yeah, of course. Bye Mrs. West."

"Thanks so much, take care." She hung up.

_Alright Beck calm down she's probably just...just...just- hell I don't know! _What do little Jade's do when they're pissed at their boyfriends. I mean obviously we've argued before, but usually we make out and make up.

Just as I was about to text her again I heard a jiggling from the door, and I turned to see entering reluctantly.

"Oh my gosh don't scare me like that, where were you?" I went over and gave her a bear hug.

"Get the hell off of me!" She screeched. "Damn it what the fuck is your problem?" She yelled when I pulled away.

"I didn't know where you were?" Wow that sounded a whole lot lamer out loud than it did a couple minutes ago when I was freaking out.

"So? Am I not allowed to bitch about the world on my own anymore?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well you were raped last time that happened!" I blurted. Damn it.

Her face fell and paled dramatically, and without a word she turned to leave.

"No Jade don't go, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it." I gently grabbed her shoulder, and turned her around. My heart squeezed as I saw tears coming dangerously close to falling.

"Let go of me." she said weakly.

I ignored her and pulled her into a hug, while I let her cry into my chest.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, bowing my head down slightly, "I shouldn't have said I didn't believe you."

"Why did you then?" she said through her tears.

"I really don't know, but I want you to know that I didn't mean to make it look like I was choosing Tori over you. You're my first and only love."

She stayed silent, and after a couple minutes her sobs turned to teary hiccups.

"So do you believe me?" She asked shakily.

Truthfully I still wasn't sure what to believe, but there was no way I was gonna mess up with Jade again, "Yes." I whispered against her lips and kissed her tenderly. She leaned in and I could feel her relax into the kiss.

But not even 10 seconds later she abruptly pulled away.

Covering her mouth, she gave a chest rattling dry cough. It didn't last long, but it scared the freaking crap out of me.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" I asked frantically.

"I-I'm fine." She heaved.

"Are you sure, because you sure don't look it?"

"Yeah..." She tried to regain her breath.

"Look I think we should go to the hospital, just in case-"

"No!" She shouted, "Look I'm fine Beck, can we just go to bed?"

I still wasn't convinced, but I really didn't want to argue with her anymore, "Alright." I muttered, deciding to sleep and forget about it.

Big mistake.

**So sorry this chapter was pretty short, but the next one will definitely be longer and hopefully more interesting :D**


	14. JAIDS

**So I'm going to be on vacation today, and won't be back until July 9****th**** and there's no internet where I'm going so I won't be able to update until after then...but I wanted to update most of my stories before I leave so here you are! **

_Beck POV_

A couple weeks had passed since Jade's and I last (major) fight, and she seemed to be fine. At least health wise, but she seemed extra paranoid and her eyes were always darting from place to place as if she thought someone was watching.

But other than that things seemed to be alright. Until today that is.

I heard a cough echo through out the R.V and my head snapped to Jade.

"Calm down, I was just clearing throat." she rolled her eyes as I stared worriedly at her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

We spent the most of the day just chilling in the R.V but I could tell that Jade was hiding something. She looked clammy, and pale the whole day, but being the idiot I am, I didn't prees her for anything else.

But at around 6 o'clock she started coughing again.

"Jade are you sure you're alright, I think-" I started but she cut me off.

"Listen Beck, I'm okay I just-" but she was interrupted by another coughing fit.

"Alright we're going to the hospital." I grabbed her hand, and despite her protests, dragged her into my car. Which, surprisingly wasn't that hard... Oh God this was bad if Jade was too sick to put a fight.

"Didn't the doctor say call first." She asked while pouting in the passenger seat.

"Yeah..." I trailed off. I don't why, but I had a bad feeling about this, something just didn't seem right.

We arrived at the hospital in less than 20 mins, and this time I had to help Jade out of the car. She didn't like help, she had always been really independent...this is _really _bad.

After I sat her in a nearby chair, I all but ran to the now familiar receptionist. "We need to see Dr. Peterson." I said my anxiety raising by the second, as I heard Jade try to stifle a cough again.

The receptionist peered over at Jade, and her eyes widened slightly. She quickly paged the doctor, and told us to wait in room 134. I may not work here, but we've been here so many times that I knew where it was.

"Dr. Peterson will be with you shortly." The nurse that escorted us to the room said.

It must have been seconds, but it felt like hours until he finally walked into the room, and luckily he got straight to business, "Okay Jade can you tell me what is bothering you the worse.

I wanted to scream at him, couldn't he tell that everything was hurting her, I mean she could be dying this very moment, and he felt he needed to go through protocol.

"My chest." she coughed again, and squeezed my hand.

The doctor looked worriedly at her, and placed his stethoscope to her chest and then to her ribs, and his frown deepened "Alright that is all, I'm sorry but we need to take you into surgery, so we can gat a biopsy of her lung." He looked at her.

"Surgery?." Her eyes widened in fear.

"I'm sorry Miss West, but we have to do it so we know what is wrong." The middle aged man looked up sadly.

"Don't worry babe, I'll be right here when you wake up." I tried to sound calm, but truthfully my heart was beating so fast I thought it was gonna rip it's way out.

She didn't say anything, and I wished for the thousandth time that it was me and not her going through this.

I guess at sometime Dr. Peterson had called nurses, because before I knew it Jade was whisked on a gurney and taken to the OR.

"Luckily we already have enough information on her medical history from past visits, so we can go straight into surgery." The doctor said getting up.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" I blurted out.

"Well at this stage it could be anything." He ran his hand through his receding hair line.

I stood there a while trying to process what had happened in the past hour. Something was wrong with Jade, and my mind played every scenario that could be wrong, but I tried to avoid thinking about them. I couldn't, I had to be strong for Jade.

I walked slowly to the waiting room, and decided to call Cat,

"Hey hey!" She answered on the second ring.

"Cat something's wrong with Jade I need you-"

"What happened? Is she alright, please tell me she's okay!" I had to bring the phone away from my ear as she screeched in the phone.

"Uh well I don't know, they just took her into surgery and-"

"I'll be right over." she hung up.

I sighed, and settled into the nearest chair, trying to just forget anything and everything.

I closed my eyes for what I thought was minute, but before I knew it Cat was tapping me frantically talking at a hundred miles an hour.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly "Cat slow down I can't understand you."

"Yeah Lil Red, you sound like my grandma when she discovered soda." Andre said from behind her.

She took a shaky breath, "Where's Jade, what's wrong with her?" she was close to tears.

Reality seemed to crash down on me as I remembered where I was, and why I was here. "Well she wasn't feeling so good so I took her here, and they just took her in for surgery to get a biopsy of her lung to see what's wrong."

"So what's wrong?" Cat said quickly.

I sigh, " I don't know yet Cat, that's what I'm waiting for."

"Oh." she looks down at her feet, "Well can we wait with you?"

"Yeah sure." I smile. Truthfully I didn't want be alone if the doctor told me any bad news. But I was crossing fingers and toes that'd we'd be about of here in no time.

Boy was I wrong.

Seconds turned into minutes, which turned into hours until a doctor came walking out, but it wasn't Dr. Peterson, so I dismissed him as another patients doctor.

"Beckette Oliver." He looked expectantly around the waiting room.

I get up slowly, Cat and Andre following my lead, before I walk uncertainly to the elderly man.

"Um that's me."

"Please follow me." He said briskly, and we walked to a small room down the hall.

Andre, Cat and I sat down as the doctor, who told us his name was Dr. Howards, started explaining, "We have found that Jadelyn has a kind of herpes, calledCytomegalovirus otherwise known as CMV, that is very common nowadays. In fact 50-85% of people will have this disease by the time they turn 40. Most people are able to live normal lives with CMV, but for some high risk groups it can prove to be very serious. These groups include unborn babies whose mother's have been diagnosed by CMV, or people with compromised immune systems." He looked at me waiting for a reaction, but I was still clueless so he continued, "Now it seems that Jadelyn had an undiagnosed case of CMV that had lied dormant for a couple years. But with her new diagnosis of HIV her immune system has weakened enough for the CMV to affect her. From this she has contracted a pneumonia called Pneumocystis carinii Pneumonia, recently renamed _Pneumocystis jiroveci, otherwise known as PCP. This specific pneumonia is only found in certain patients, a_nd it seems that she had already had a relatively weak immune system, and the CMV and PCP has wreaked even more damage on it causing her CD4 cells to be killed."

He sighed heavily and continued, "In fact her CD4 count has now become below 200/mm3. I'm sorry but Jadelyn has AIDS."

**Ooo I cliffhanger! (sorta) So I'm 99.99999% sure I'm totally wrong with the medical info, but again I'm only a high school student sooo... I tried to make sound somewhat medical-like though :) I read some stuff about CMV and PCP and I know it's found in people with AIDS but I wasn't sure if it ever caused it (pretty sure it doesn't) but I wasn't sure how else to have her get it quickly so here we are! Tell me what you think PWEASE **


	15. No Way

**Thank you guys for all the reviews, I was so excited when I saw them after coming back from my trip! I don't know why but this story is one of the stories I really wanted to update while I was gone, so I wasted no time in writing it, so here you go!**

Once when I was 7 I played on a rec. soccer team, I wasn't exactly the best athlete, but it was still fun. I remember this one game I had, where the goalie had punted the ball a lot harder than usual, and while I was busy marveling at how far and high it was going, I didn't realize where it was going.

But before I knew I was on my back, and a loud whoosh escaped my lips as all the air rushed out of my lungs. Getting the wind knocked out of you isn't exactly a fun thing when you're 7. It felt like I'd never breathe again, and for a second while my mind was still confused and panicked about what happened, I thought I was going to die.

That's how I feel now. Dazed, terrified and unable to breathe.

The air seemed to morph into a thick goo clogging my airways.

As dots started to fill my vision I felt something my shoulder being shook roughly, and a noise somewhere in the back of my mind.

I abruptly turned to the perpetrator, and saw it was Andre calling my name worriedly. "Beck are you alright?" He asked quietly.

But I ignored him, and turned my attention to Dr. Peterson, "S-so she's gonna die." I sputtered, not even phrasing it as a question.

"Well its too early to tell the severity right now, but AIDS patients these days are able to live a much longer life. In fact there are people who have had it for more than 20 years. With a healthy diet and taking the prescribed medication, Jade should be able to have many years ahead of her." He smiled slightly.

I relaxed slightly, but only slightly. Because I knew he was only talking about a portion of AIDS patients, even if 99% of people lived a longer life, there was always that pitiful percentage that weren't as lucky. And I couldn't bare to think that Jade would be one of those people.

"Have you told her yet?" I asked.

"No, she's still recovering from surgery, so she's asleep now. You are welcome to tell her yourself if you'd like, but we recommend telling her when she's a little stronger, but again it is up to you."

I contemplated his offer. I couldn't bare having to give her the news, I could only imagine the pain she's feeling now, and knowing that I had to give her any more made my heart ache. But at the same time I knew she wouldn't want hear it from a stranger, plus I couldn't run away when I knew she needed me more than ever now.

"Alright I'll tell her when the times right."

"Okay, I'm sure she'd prefer that." Dr. Peterson smiled.

"Can we see her now?"

He glanced at his watch before saying, "Alright, but it's going to have to be quick."

I got up and shook his hand thanking him, while he walked us through the dreary eggshell white hallways.

Right before we entered the room, I looked back at my friends "Are you guys sure you want to go in? You don't have to if you don't want to." I asked more to Cat than Andre, knowing that she wouldn't be able handle such a traumatizing sight well.

She nodded weakly, and I took a deep breath before opening the door.

I don't know exactly when exactly I let it out, but as I saw how feeble she looked on the crisp hospital sheets, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me all over again.

Whenever I read stories for school or something, and a character was placed in the hospital, all they list is exactly what they saw; IV's, oxyge masks etc, and I thought that alone was terrible. But what they usually fail to mention is the emotional reaction, the turmoil your body is sent into after seeing a loved one, someone you've seen through thick and thin suddenly so helpless and...lifeless.

I looked at the familiar stranger in the hospital bed, and simply stared. I didn't cry, I didn't run over and hug her through the jungle of medical equipment, I merely gazed and searched for my Jade somewhere in the broken girl before me.

I never did find her that day. Because there's no way Jade would have some silly little machines breathe for her. There's no way Jade would allow so many tubes and IV's confine her like that. There's no way Jade would wear something as demeaning as a pathetic hospital gown.

There's just no way.

I walked wordlessly and emotionlessly at out of the room, and heard Andre come up to me and ask, "Dude where are you going?"

"I'm waiting for my girlfriend to come back."

**~Kieran POV~**

"Excuse Mr. McClearney your not allowed to roam the hospitals at this time." The stupid excuse for a nurse called from behind me.

"I'm sorry, but can't I just enjoy some form of freedom now, you know...while I still can." I said looking down at my feet.

She bit her lip before saying, "Alright but please don't take too long."

"Thanks so much." I smiled gratefully at her.

Man people are so stupid these days, but whatever I guess it's to my advantage so there's no reason to complain.

I scowled at the hospital walls, wishing I could just burn this place to the ground. I've been here so many times that I could practically call it my second home, but home is supposed to be somewhere you care about, feel safe in. And this place was not that.

Luckily my 18th birthday was 2 weeks ago, so my parents didn't have to be here when I got yet another stomach infection. Sometimes I wish that it could all end, everything. No more infections, sores, hernias, coughs, all of it. It's not like anyone would care if I died, but I wasn't totally done with life yet. There was still one thing I needed to finish.

Hmph, who knew revenge could be such a motivator.

As I dragged along the hallway, I saw a familiar face I the corner of my eye that caught my attention.

It was Jade's boyfriend.

He was standing outside a room, and seemed to be in his own little world.

My heart raced, as I imagined the reasons why he was here, it was obviously for Jade, but did she get AIDS already? I never expected to get to this stage so quickly. But what if it's something else, what if it's not AIDS, or what if it's not even Jade in that room. Well I guess there's only one way to find out.

"Excuse me is Dr. Peterson in there, I need to talk to him." I asked, knowing that this is ward is where most of patients stay in.

"Uh, I think so." He muttered, not really looking at me.

"Is he busy, or something?"

"Um, I think he's looking over someone now."

"Oh, who?" I blurted, wow that couldn't have been anymore suspicious.

He glanced at me wearily before saying, "My girlfriend...I think."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that." I said, trying not to jump up and down in excitement.

"Thanks." he muttered.

"Is she alright?"

"I-I don't know." He looked away, "Look I gotta go, it was um...nice talking to you." He walked back into the room where where his friends were standing. I recognized them as Cat and Andre, but what really caught my eye was the girl in the hospital bed.

Jackpot.

She probably thinks that I'm done with her now.

Yeah right, the fun has only begun.

**Okay I know that Kieran's part was REALLY awkward, especially the conversation between him and Beck, but ah well, hopefully you guys still like the chapter :)**


	16. What If

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a while, and truthfully I can't that that's going to change all that much, because I'm really busy right now, and I'm going on vacation again soon, but I'm going to try an update before I leave. Anyhow enjoy the chapter!**

**~Tori POV~**

"You're sure she has it?" My voice gained an octave in excitement.

"I'm not just positive I'm-"

"Don't get all South Park on me." I scolded.

"Ugh, fine, and yeah I'm sure."

I smiled on the other end of the phone, "Good, so what's our next step?"

"Ha, I would have thought that you would have had a full plan by now." I could hear the smirk in the voice.

"Whatever, so what do you have in mind?" I sighed.

"Oh you have no idea tuts." The voice on the other end laughed dryly, and explained the plan.

"And you really think this will work?"

"Absolutely."

"Ha, this is gonna be fun." I sneered, "Ok I gotta go now, but we should meet up later." I hurriedly hung up, as Trina clambered down the stairs.

I thought back on the new plan, and smirked inwardly.

Jade West is definitely going to regret the day she messed with me.

**~Jade POV~ **

Finally I was getting out of this hell hole after 3 long weeks. I never liked hospitals, the acrid smell alcohol always burned my nose, and the sterile white walls would hurt my eyes.

But I still didn't get it; if I was getting better why was everyone giving me pitying looks. It pissed me off. I'd always wake up in the night to Beck sitting faithfully next to my bed, with silent tears making tracks down his olive skin. And when ever I'd ask what the matter was he'd hastily wipe his tears away and create one stupid excuse after another.

Also whenever Cat or my mom visited they would always have to leave almost immediately, because they'd break down sobbing.

I stared disgustedly at the petite brunette nurse pushing a wheelchair into my hospital room.

"I hope you don't expect me to get in that." I spat.

She sighed, accustomed to me oh-so charming behavior by now, "Miss West, you're still not strong enough to walk yet."

"We're only trying to help honey." Mom smiled dejectedly.

"Oh yeah." I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and stubbornly stood up. My vision did somersaults, and Beck quickly hurried to my side, but I shrugged him off.

"See?" I huffed.

"Alright Miss West, whatever you say." She rolled her eyes sighing, and before exiting she added, "And Dr. Peterson will meet with you in here before you leave."

"Wonderful." I groaned and collapsed on the bed.

"Are you sure you're okay to walk?" Beck's forehead creased.

"Yeah, I'm not freaking crippled."

He looked sadly at me (_again) _and before I could snap at him, he quickly interjected, "Jade we need to talk."

"Are you finally going to tell me you guys have been spazzing lately?"I grumbled and Mom looked worriedly at him, her eyes pleading an unspoken desire.

"Uh yeah...you know how you've been really sick lately?" He said gently avoiding my mother.

"Really? Is that what I've been doing the past 3 weeks?"

"Yeah, um...well...it's because you had pneumonia-"

"So I've heard."

He waited patiently before continuing "It was a special kind of pneumonia...and it's usually associated in people with...weak immune systems."

"Yeah..." My heart sped up with each word.

"Jade...you...you have AIDS."

My breath hitched, and I wasn't able to let it out again. I could feel the slimy tendrils of terror clasp onto my heart, constricting it with every beat. It dug it's tentacles further and further into my breaking body, and I tried desperately to seal the growing cracks, but I just wasn't fast enough.

The beast spread up my body, encasing me into it's endless depths, and I struggled desperately to escape. It latched onto my throat, and I felt as if I was suffocating...as if I was dying.

"But no matter what I'm gonna be here for you." I felt a tender hand brush against my shoulder, and in that instant the beast disappeared, releasing me from it's fatal grip.

"So I'm going to die." I said, my voice devoid of any emotion, and I tried my best to ignore my mom's stifled sobs.

"Well we're all going to die sooner or later."

I stared at him, warning him to cut the bull crap. He sighed heavily and continued, "Well Dr. Peterson said that people can live up to 20 years now with AIDS."

"So what happens when I'm 37? Just kiss my life goodbye, when I wasn't even finished with it?"

"Look Jade, we'll deal with that when we get there, but now we have to make the in-between worth while."

Yeah, it's too bad I don't know how long my 'in-between' is.

"How long have you known?" I stared at, but before he could answer Dr. Peterson walked in.

He looked at Beck briefly, who nodded, and then turned back to me, "Do you have any questions?" He asked gently.

"How long?"

The doctor scrunched his face in confusion, but Beck answered, "After they did surgery."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We thought it'd be best if we told you, when it you were stronger." Dr. Peterson replied.

Would it really matter when they told me? I was going to die either way.

"Can we go now?" I said quietly, cursing myself for the weakness and vulnerability my voice oozed.

"O-of course honey." My mom hiccuped on a sob.

I heaved myself off the bed, and this time I let Beck help steady me. As we walked out of the hospital, I turned to Mom and asked, "Mind if I stay at Beck's tonight?" Since when did I start asking for permission to do things?

Her lips dipped into a slight frown, "But-"

"Please." I said softly, not wanting to be alone tonight.

A tear slid down her face and she replied, "Alright."

"Thanks." I muttered, and shuffled to Beck's truck.

The car ride was silent, and tense. I mulled the last minutes events in my head, trying to make sense of it all.

I have AIDS.

It still didn't click, I didn't see how it was even possible. How could the infamous Jade West get something so unimaginable, so degrading. I was supposed to become a star, and with one mistake, I can already see all my hopes and dreams for the future crumble before my eyes.

Maybe they made a mistake, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe they'll find a cure. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find that this is all just a twisted nightmare, that my messed up mind conjured up. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

I gazed out the window, glaring at the happy and ignorant world around me. Why did they get to live such easy carefree lives, what did they do to deserve such innocence from the sick, heinous things that usually went unnoticed in this world?

As we pulled into the driveway, I slowly exited the truck, and dragged myself to Beck's RV.

I plopped onto his sofa, and groaned, "Beck, what am I going to do?"

"Well first of all I want you to know that your not alone in this, so _we're _just going to take life one day at a time. And as long as you keep taking the medication and keep healthy diet everything will be alright." He sat next to me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

An unexpected anger ripped through, and without reason I exploded, "And what if that's not enough! Huh? Then what do I do! Look, you can't pretend like everything is going to be alright Beck, because that's not how it works. A lot of good people die everyday, most of them better than me, and I don't really what makes me so special as to pull through! What makes you think that I'm not going to die!" My voice rose with every word.

He stared at me with his mouth slightly agape, and after what seemed like hours he finally answered, "Truthfully I have no idea about any of this. I don't know what's in store for us. I have no idea how long you have. But I know that you aren't just some other nameless girl from Hollywood, you aren't weak Jade. I know you can battle this, and I'll be there for you every step of the way. I'll be right behind you if you need a little push, or someone to fall back on. I know you can do this."

"But what if I'm not strong enough, what if I don't have what it takes?" I whispered to myself.


	17. Still Waiting For it to Get Better

**So I bring you the next chapter! Um just as a warning there's going to be some REALLY OOC stuff from here on out, but this story was based on Ryan White's life and this is pretty much how his town reacted when they found out he had AIDS. What's different though is that Ryan wasn't allowed back in his school at first, and had to fight for the right, but I didn't want to make it exactly like his life, so anyways onto the story!**

**~Jade POV~**

I thought life was supposed to get better, when you go through something as traumatizing as I did. For one thing the medicine that I was given tasted like melted crap, and since I was still new to it I still suffered from side effects. Plus even with all these drugs they got me on, the doctor said he's not sure if my cough will ever go away, and that "it's just going to have to be something I adjust to." _And _to top it all off my first day back to school is today.

"Have a nice day sweetie!" My mom smiled as I got in my car.

"Yeah I'm sure it'll be just swell." I grumbled.

While pulling into the school I knew immediately that news had spread about my...condition. _Again._

As soon as I got out of my car the whispering and muttering ensued. I did my best to ignore their watchful eyes, but all I can say is that it wasn't easy. They looked at me as if I was going to drop dead right in front of them or as if my mere presence would mean they'd get infected with AIDS too.

Idiots.

"Ah shit she's back, shouldn't she be quarantined or something?"

I snapped my head towards the asshole who spoke but before I could retaliate a blur of red had engulfed my vision.

"Jade you're back! School's been so boring without you!" Cat pulled me into bear hug.

"Uh yeah I'm sure." I pulled myself from her death grip, and straightened out my clothes.

I looked up and saw Robbie standing a couple fett behind her, "Uh hi Jade." He said nervously, and was it just me or was he holding his breath.

"Hey Robbie." I narrowed my eyes, and stepped closer to him, in which he flinched slightly.

"Um..err...how you feeling?" He finally let out his breath, and stared down at the ground.

"Couldn't be better." I scowled at him suspiciously.

"That's great, well...uh...I gotta go to... a place." He quickly turned around, and I could hear the puppet mutter something to him.

"That was weird, sort of like a hedgehog in a top hat huh?" Cat looked at Robbie's departing figure strangely.

"Yeah." I said absently and continued glaring in his direction.

"So what do you wanna do, I mean you haven't been in school for weeks." Cat turned back to me and beamed.

"Cat, this is school, what the heck am I supposed to do."

"Why don't we have a party?" Her eyes lit up.

"In school?" I rose an eyebrow.

"Uh huh it'll be fun, my cousin once had a party in school, but then he got expelled." She knitted her eyebrows.

"I see, well as fun as that sounds I think I'll pass." I walked to my locker to an awaiting Beck.

"Hey babe." He smiled.

"Not in the mood." I grumbled already unhappy with this day.

"Aw don't be like that, a good attitude leads to a good day." His smile grew.

"You're just asking to get your ass kicked aren't you?" I gave him the death stare.

"Will it make you happy again?" He leaned his head down to mine, and reached for a kiss. And just as our lips touched a loud gasp interrupted us from behind, "Beck what are you doing are you trying to get yourself killed?" An obnoxious girl named Kelly squealed.

"Uh...?" He looked at her questioningly.

"Didn't you hear," Her eyes widened and she whispered loud enough for everyone who has ears to hear, "She has _AIDS._"

"Uh yeah, so?" He replied a little nervously.

"Well we can't have someone as hot as you die!" She stared at him as if he was insane.

"Go. Away." I growled dangerously.

"But-"

"Now."

She squeaked and scurried away to who-knows-where.

Beck turned to me with pity shining in his eyes, "Jade,"

"I'm going to class." I stomped towards my Chem. class.

As I marched into the room, the whole class seemed to shy away from me. "Oh Miss West you sit next to Roger over there." Mrs. Jesslyn said, and I knew I wasn't imaging the agitation in her voice.

I glared at my new seat that was in the very back of the room, and my eyes landed on the cowering kid that I didn't even know existed. I dropped my bag on the ground, and plopped into the desk.

Roger leaned as far away from me as possible, and didn't even dare breathe in my direction. I closed my eyes, and tried to gain control of my anger, before I ripped his head off.

I barely paid attention to anything the teacher droned on and on about. The seconds seemed to cling to each other, making each minute just as torturous as the last. And it looked like I wasn't the only one paying attention, practically the whole class kept glancing back at me, and squirming uncomfortably in their seats whenever I coughed.

Even the teacher stopped her lecture, and stared worriedly at me before hastily continuing again.

I balled up my fist, and ignored the fact that my nails were digging into my palm. Luckily I didn't draw any blood, but I left bright red marks on my hand.

At last class came to an end, and I all but ran out of the room to my locker, feeling slightly more tired than usual.

"Hey babe, how was class?" Beck walked up to me.

"Terrible." I glowered at him.

"Don't worry, people just have to get used to it." He wrapped his arm around me.

"Whatever." I mumbled and snuggled into his hold.

The rest of my classes were just as bad as the first, and with each one it became harder for me to hold in my anger. And it wasn't until last period that I snapped.

"At least, we have Sikowitz next." Beck tried to cheer me up as we walked to his class.

But as we were making our way down the hallway I heard a familiar voice say my name from the teacher's lounge.

"Wait a sec." I ordered, and listened in on the conversation. I couldn't make out all the voices, but I could definitely hear the one that almost seemed to be fidgeting with anxiety.

"Lane listen to me, I can't have her in my class...No it just that-...I have my reasons alright, but she either needs to switch teachers, or find another major."

Ah great so now teachers were talking about me too, well if they have a fucking problem with me, they should have the balls to say it to my face.

I stormed into the room, ignoring Beck's protests, and my heart skipped a beat as I saw the perpetrator.

Sikowitz.

**So I know that Sikowitz would never say that, but like I said this is based on Ryan White's life, and his favorite teacher basically did the same thing, so...yeah. Anyways sorry for not updating in a while, but hope you liked it!**


	18. If Only If Only

**~Jade POV~ **

My eyes lock with my favorite teacher, and I stare incredulously at him.

"Jade I-" He says nervously, fidgeting with his hands very un Sikowiz-like. But before he can finish I turn on my heels, and head out the door.

As I stalk down the hallway, gentle hands cautiously latch onto my shoulder. I snap my head around, and glare dangerously at Beck.

"Where are you going?" He asks softly.

"To class." I growl.

"But-"

"If I don't then he gets what he wants, and I always win." I pull away from his grip, and storm to his room.

A couple of students are scattered randomly in the class, since we still have a couple of minutes till class starts, and I sit the very front of the class, with Beck to my right.

Slowly others trickle in, and of course no one sits within a 5 feet radius of me, but soon the rest of our groups sits around or near us, until finally the man of the hour walked in.

When he spotted me, I can practically feel his muscles tighten in anxiety, and he heaves a big sigh. I raised an eyebrow as if to challenge him, but he just continues his walk to the front of the room, and ignores me.

"Alright my little pink munchkins, class is officially at it's beginning." He beamed, effectively hiding any trace of fear or discomfort. The rest of class he was able to keep up the act, and it's as normal as Improv class can get. But I couldn't help but notice his constant avoidance of me.

I was never called on, whether I put my hand on or not, and I never was chosen to do any of the activities on stage. It's as if he just wiped my presence from his mind entirely.

As soon as class ended I stayed seated until the room slowly emptied, and when only Beck and me remained, I marched to front the room where Sikowitz stood, still ignoring me.

"What's the deal Sikowitz?" I snapped angrily.

I was met with silence.

"Alright you can ignore me all you want, but don't think that you can get rid of me that easily, you should know by now that it takes more than stupid games to take me down." I waited for him to respond, but again a deafening silence fell over the room.

I gave a callous glare, before saying "Okay you want to play games? Fine, but don't blame me when someone gets hurt." I accidentally blurt, not (fully) meaning it.

Fear flashed in his eyes, and I quickly exit the room before I could say anything worse, with Beck trailing behind me hurriedly.

"Jade what-" He said from behind, worry clipping his words.

"I don't know okay? It just came out I didn't mean- ah fuck now he must think I'm gonna infect him, shit shit shit." I muttered knowing that this definitely wouldn't pan out well.

"Don't worry it'll be alright."

"You know you really got to stop with that, okay?" I hurried in the parking lot to his car, feeling a little out of breath.

"Don't push yourself, you're still not-"

"Beck look, I'm fine alright? I don't need someone looking after me, and worrying. And I sure as hell don't need anyone treating me differently, and that includes you. So would you just lay off!" I snarled, and only briefly regretted the look of hurt that passed over his face, and got into my car, leaving him alone and bewildered in the parking lot.

_Yeah Jade just mess up other people's life just because yours is fucked up, that'll fix your problems. _

I contemplated on calling Beck back to apologize, but for some reason my hands wouldn't move for the phone. I guess it was because I didn't want to seem weaker than I already was, and in my book apologizing was weak.

Thankfully Beck was always there to make the first move, so I answered the phone as I parked in my garage.

Almost immediately as I picked up did he start speaking, "Babe I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like you couldn't handle yourself, I was just making sure."

I sighed, knowing that I could drag this out longer than it needed but truthfully I was exhausted. Your first day back to school from weeks at the hospital isn't exactly easy. "Whatever, just don't let it happen again."

He sighed with relief and asked, "So you want to come over?"

"I can't my mom wants to some stupid family bonding crap, _again._" I groaned.

"Okay, well see you tomorrow, love you." Disappointment slightly seeping into his words.

"Love you too." I mumbled before hanging up.

Now if only my other problems could be resolved with simple words.

**Sorry for the short and sort of boring chapter, but I was at lost of what to write. I hope you guys liked it anyways!**


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